039-penyebab-stres-anak-karena-stres-ibu-ayah

Di saat kita merasa anak rewel, menyebalkan, susah diatur, gak mau nurut, dan berbagai perilaku negatif lainnya; tentu ada sebagian orang tua mudah tersulut emosinya, kemudian ngomel-ngomel dan marah-marah, atau bahkan sampai tindakan destruktis berupa kontak fisik. Sejatinya, mari kita introspeksi diri kita sendiri. Karena boleh jadi, kita bukan marah pada mereka, melainkan marah pada diri sendiri akibat stres yang menumpuk. Stres yang membuat kita tertekan pada tuntutan hidup yang tak tercapai.

Ternyata, menurut penelitan dari American Psychological Assosiation yang dilakukan pada 2000 anak, mengatakan bahwa :

90% anak mengatakan sangat tahu saat kondisi orang tuanya sedang stres.

Hal ini ditandai dengan orangtuanya yang jarang berinteraksi dengan mereka, fokus pada kerjaan, gadget, atau hal lain yang menyenangkan diri orang tua sendiri.

Dan penelitian itu juga dilakukan pada orang tuanya, hasilnya dari orang tua anak yang 90% tadi, didapat data bahwa ada 20% orang tua yang tidak menyadari bahwa diri mereka sendiri dalam keadaan stress. (Happy Book Happy Parent)

Kenyataan ini tentu ‪#‎NoteToMySelf‬ yang jleb banget! Sehingga menuntut diri untuk selalu melakukan insterospeksi.

Apalagi bila anak kita masih balita dan selalu berada di dekat kita, emosi kita dan emosi mereka bagaikan cermin. Jadi kalau salah satu tampak negatif, perlu di cek ulang salah satunya juga. Sehingga sebelum men-judge anak kita yang rewel misalnya, perlu cek ulang juga bagaimana suasana hati kita, apakah kita tidak sedang rewel juga pada pasangan? misalnya. 😀

* * *

Saat merasa ada emosi yang tidak baik, saat kita merasa tertekan dan stres, lebih baik kita berhenti sejenak. Ceritakan pada pasangan kita, dan minta ruang dan waktu untuk kita sendiri untuk merenung dan menyegarkan pikiran dan hati. Sebab, “sadar dan waras” adalah dua kondisi yang kita perlukan beriringan, agar bisa membersamai buah hati kita dengan baik.

Kenapa seorang istri/ibu bisa mudah marah, mudah lelah, mudah merasa tak berdaya dlsb? Boleh jadi salah satu faktornya adalah

“kebutuhan mereka untuk didengarkan” tak terpenuhi.

Iya, karena didengarkan, kebutuhan berbicara, merupakan salah satu kebutuhan emosi utama kita sehari-hari, selain makan, minum, buang air dsb.

Setiap wanita rata-rata punya kebutuhan berbicara 15.000-20.000 kata per hari. Berbeda dengan lelaki yang hanya punya kebutuhan berbicara 7.000-10.000 kata per hari, dan itu pun biasanya sudah terpenuhi di kantornya, melalui presentasi dsb.

Jadi wajar, apabila kebanyakan istri/ibu itu cerewet, bawel, dan lebih senang berbicara dibandingkan suami/ayah; karena memang kebutuhan fitrahnya seperti itu.

Jadi, kebayang kalau misal yang seharuan di rumah, mengurus si kecil, gak ada temen ngobrol, ngerjain urusan rumah tangga yang gak ada habisnya dari mulai bangun tidur sampe tidur lagi. Merasa lelah fisik, hati, dan pikiran.

* * *

Kebutuhan berbicaranya tak terpenuhi bukan hanya sehari, tapi berhari-hari. Hingga menumpuk jadi beban stres yang luar biasa, yang suatu waktu bisa “meledak” dengan menangis, marah-marah, sensitif, dan mudah tersinggung, sampe terus-terusan sering merasa lelah. Hanya karena, kebutuhan fitrah mereka untuk berbicara, untuk didengarkan, tak terpenuhi.

Kebutuhan itu, yang gak bisa didelegasikan dengan cuma berkeliaran di “kepala” saja, tapi memang perlu diucapkan, dilisankan, agar melegakan diri. Ingatkah Anda tentang kisah tukang cukur dan Raja Alexander Agung? Ia hidup tertekan hanya karena tidak bisa berbagi cerita dengan orang lain.

Oleh sebab itu, tips meringankan stres pada seorang istri/ibu adalah : rutin mengajak diskusi pasangan kita, setiap malam sebelum tidur.

Duhai para suami, istri Anda memerlukan Anda untuk menjadi pendengar setia mereka, jadilah tempat bersandar dan berkeluh kesah ternyaman untuknya, agar ia bisa menjalani peran sebagai istri dan ibu yang bahagia.

Silakan lanjut ke Tips agar Disayang Mertua.

_________

Sumber : Foezi Citra Cuaca Elmart

Pembaca budiman selalu Like & Share...

2,686 thoughts on “Stres Anak karena Stres Ibu, Stres Ibu karena Suaminya!

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